Misadventures of Organization XIII
by skyemeunet
Summary: MULTIPLE PAIRINGS. Will change with latest chapter. A humorous crackery about the Organization  Plus a few others . Lemons with  often  crack pairings that are all semi-related.  Requests being taken
1. Purity Prologue

_Hi there! So...My friend Marly and I did this sort of impromptu story over email a while back. After looking through it, I'd decided to put it more into "story form" and ended up coming up with an idea!_

_This is pretty much a way to work on lemons while having a few laughs over the few crack pairings that are in here. Actually, they'll be quite the few crack pairings. _

_You, of course, can request a pairing yourself. The pairing, the situation you want it on, or just leave it all up to me! Whichever works._

**Disclaimer: Severe CRACKERY! I will probably refer to this story as Crackery rather than MoOXIII because well, it's what I call it. Did I mention serious OOCness? Yeah, it's pretty bad.**

**I also own not a single part of Kingdom Hearts, sadly.**

_They'll be some random "interval" chapters like this one. But for the most part it's just back-to-back lemons._

_Ideas on how to connect them all are a little scarce, so any suggestions you have would be great!  
_

* * *

_When Riku hears from Demyx that Marluxia took Sora's purity, he's on an angry seme search to find and decapitate him. Couldn't this all just be a slight misunderstanding? _

_XOXOXOXOXO_

"Rikkkkkkuuuuu! Marly took Sora's purity away!" Demyx cried out as he continued to run down the halls of Castle Oblivion in search of the darkness boy. Marluxia's eyebrow twitched in the distance, in the living room to be exact, as he heard the nocturne yelling out.

"Oh. Shit..." he murmured to himself, already feeling his impending doom and deciding now was the best time to hide, so he did. Roxas, who was right next to Marluxia at the time, coughed and shook his head as he watched the infamous flower master fleeing as fast as he could.

"What a brave, brave man. But also a soon to be dead one." He commented as Demyx finally found the living room and was just going to say hi to Roxas when Riku walked in, looking very frightful indeed.

"What did you say just Demyx?" Under such an evil death glare, Demy couldn't help but fidget nervously under the gaze. He stared at the ground and dragged his foot back and forth against the floor.

"Um...Well...I just saw Sora and he was talking about how Mar-Mar had taken...his...pur..ity…Eep?" Riku had made a deep growl, but when the two boys blinked, Riku wasn't in the room with them anymore.

"Eh? Riku?" Demyx looked turned around and looked at Roxas, confused.

"Now I wonder where he went off to..." Roxas smirked. Hell, it didn't involve him, so why not simply enjoy the festivities while they lasted? He chuckled because Riku could be heard stomping and yelling through the halls.

"MARLUXIA! I'M GOING TO RIP IT OFF IF YOU HAVE DONE ANYTHING TO MY SORA! WHERE ARE YOU, YOU CONNIVING FLOWER BOY?" It was hard not to hear the enraged seme, so even Marluxia, who was in his hiding place, shook with fear.

"He...He can't hit me. That would be like…like...Hitting a girl wouldn't it?"

Roxas and Demyx exchanged looks with a quite amused Zexion who was relaxing on the couch with a book in his hand, as always.

"Should we be worried?" Roxas asked, not really planning on being worried either way.

"I wouldn't be. That idiot deserves what's coming. Riku is the most possessive boyfriend we know, why he would even attempt this just shows how stupid he is." Zexion fingered the bridge of his nose at the loud noise that was now resounding in the castle. At least it wasn't as bad as the time Luxord lost his rum…

"Oh Zexy, don't be like that. I'm sure there's a simple explanation behind it all!" Demyx said as he plopped down on the couch and held on to his boyfriend's arm happily. Zexion only looked down at a mess of blonde hair and hid his smile by leaning his head down so his hair covered his eyes.

"I'm sure there is Demyx." He agreed, even if he didn't believe it. Though he couldn't imagine why Sora would so brightly tell Demyx he had his purity taken. He had a feeling something was amiss.

"A'ight, I have a question." The three looked to find Luxord in the doorway.

"So you heard it too." Roxas commented.

"Yea, and I'm wondering about the whole purity part."

"What about it?" Zexion asked.

"Well, doesn't that mean Riku and Sora haven't done it yet after all this time?" Everyone was silent at this question.

"That's a good point Luxord," said Xaldin as he plopped down on an empty couch.

"Maybe Sora is really just too innocent?"

"But even Demyx lost his already!" Luxord exclaimed, pointing his finger at the now defiant looking water boy.

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" He whined. Zexion patted his head soothingly, if anything to keep his headache at bay for the yelling that would have ensued if he didn't calm his lover immediately.

"I'm sure he just meant that you're as clueless as Sora is on this subject, but we've overcome that and had sex." Demyx blushed at the blatant ways of his lover. He could see Luxord and Xaldin chuckling to each other and he crossed his arms in a pout.

"But seriously…There's no way they haven't done it yet…Right?" Luxord asked as he sat down and made himself comfortable.

"Well, in all actuality, I can't be for certain whether or not they have." Zexion said, making Roxas looked up to the ceiling in thought.

"I know that they've messed around, I've seen enough hickeys on Sora to prove it." He finally said.

"Yeah, and there have been times when someone else say something in conversation and Sora will blush…" Xaldin added. They all sat in thought for a moment, no one coming to any conclusions.

"I wonder if Riku has found Marluxia yet?"

Actually, Riku was having a very hard time finding Marluxia. He had begun looking in the Organization member's room. No luck with the bathrooms, though he realized just how tidy their bathrooms really were, and just how much hair products a small group of men (plus one girl) could accumulate, and it scared him. No wonder the Organization's budget was so bad.

The same went for Luxord and Xaldin's room (he'd never even seen so many bottles of rum in a liquor store. Seriously. How the hell did two people consume so much alcohol?).

He hadn't dared look in Xemnas's room, though some questionable noises were coming from Saix's room when he passed, but he tried not to think of it in hopes of keeping his sanity a bit while longer. The thought of those two rutting like rabbits made his stomach churn.

Getting rather frustrated after Axel's room hadn't held who he was looking for, although he did figure out where his favorite pair of steel toes went, Riku continued on, getting more and more enraged the longer he had to look. Exactly how many places could one hide in Castle Oblivion? Riku paused in his walking and reworded the question. Correction: How many places could that idiot Marluxia possibly have the brain capacity to find?

Growling, Riku went on with his search of the remaining member's rooms.

Off in the garden, Marluxia sat in some bushes silently keeping an eye out for any angry Riku's. His eye caught a nobody in the distance and when he turned to look at it, he found that the lowlife Dusk was...eating his flowers! Gaping at the sheer amazement of something committing such a vile act, it took him a minute before he did anything.

"MY FLOWERS! You disgusting Dusk!" he screamed, in a rather high pitched voice that he would later deny. The Dusk simply stopped in his consumption of the daffodils and slithered away, or however you'd call how they walk. Only after the nobody was gone did Marluxia realize his mistake, and just in time.

"I HEARD YOU LITTLE FLOWER BITCH!" Everyone quickly made their way towards the shout, eager to see how this would play out, they were a noisy bunch of Nobodies, but hey, they didn't have anything better to do. In addition to them, Sora came out of him and Riku's room, rubbing his eyes sleepily, being woken from his nap by the yelling.

"Riku? Why're you yelling so much? Something wrong?" he asked in a sleepy voice. Riku gasped at the sight of the love of his life and stopped in his running.

"Sora!" he exclaimed and pulled Sora into a big hug, holding him tightly.

"Oh my god! Are you okay? What did that bastard do to you?" Riku demanded even as he inspected Sora for any types of bruising or marks that he himself didn't inflict.

"What are you talking about Riku?"

"Marluxia! Did he really take your purity away?" Sora thought for a minute at the question, his drowsy mind not working too well.

"Oh, yeah, he did. Yesterday." He said finally said calmly.

"Why are you so calm about all of this?" Riku couldn't believe it! How could his sweet, sweet chocolate morsel not being completely broken from all this? Could it be that he liked Marluxia better than him…That he'd rather be with _that man _rather than him?

Sora tilted his head to the side quizzically as he watched the freakish emotions come and go from Riku's face.

"Eh? Well, Riku, it's only a bottle of water after all. That's really not a big deal. Even though it was my last bottle of it, and it's my favorite kind; Purity. But he was really thirsty, so I wanted to be nice." Riku blinked, then blinked again. He slowly backed away from Sora, in case he might blow up or something along those lines.

"What...? I'll be...Right back. DEMYYYX!" he screamed, his anger now on number nine. Marluxia had peeked around the corner to watch all of this and yelled out.

"RUN WATER BITCH, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!" Riku paused in his sudden sprint to turn an accusatory finger on Marluxia.

"You! Why the hell did you just hide? Why didn't you tell me that you had stolen his damn water bottle!" Marluxia flinched.

"Well! You're a crazy psycho, I thought that you really would kill me over a water bottle! How was I supposed to know you thought I had taken his virginity! I'm not that stupid! Or suicidal for that matter!" He defended. Riku glared at him.

"Are you saying that you expect me to just let you do whatever you want to my Sora and allow you to get away with it?" Riku asked through gritted teeth. Marluxia looked around nervously.

"Well...Um...Uh...Roxas!"

"Why the fuck does everyone always come to me?" Roxas groaned. Axel, who had joined the party after just getting back from his mission, growled.

"Don't you dare touch him either! Just because you have Riku's uke doesn't mean you can take mine too!" He snapped out. Riku cracked his knuckles.

"You know Marluxia. I don't believe I've ever had the pleasure of proving to you who's stronger..."

Xigbar sat down where Xaldin had plopped down on the floor. He handed him a tub of popcorn, freshly made.

"Oh, thanks." Xaldin said as he ate some. Xigbar nodded.

"This is absolutely hilarious, it deserves popcorn." He said as an unasked explanation. Marluxia smelled the popcorn and perked up, running over to the two.

"Ooo! Popcorn!" He skipped over to the two men, trying to hide behind them amd away from the death glares both Axel and Riku were now giving him. Why everyone was picking on him he didn't know, but then again, he wasn't sure if he wanted to risk finding out.

Xigbar and Xaldin stared blankly at Marluxia, keeping their popcorn well out of reach.

"The butter will make you fat, and you're already getting there." Xigbar stated blatantly. Xaldin shooed him away silently with his hands until Marluxia finally stood up and stepped away from them. Axel and Riku sighed as they exchanged looks.

"Well, I think today's been pretty exciting. I'm going to go 'comfort' my Roxie! Later 'Ku!" Axel called as he walked off. Riku watched him go then nodded.

"That's a good idea. Come on Sora!" he stalked off with a confused Sora in his arms, shutting the down behind them. Marluxia had only just let out his breath of relief when Saix appeared in front of him. He gulped as he looked up at the always very scary-looking man.

"Marluxia. I see you've been causing trouble again. Vexen would like to see you in his lab." An evil grin appeared on his face. Marluxia's face lit of considerably, not noticing said grin.

"He would? Wait...With or without clothes on?" he asked suspiciously. The smirk remained in place.

"I think you'll want them on as you are to be his test subject for his experiments, your punishment." He replied, Marluxia's face fell once more.

* * *

_By the way, to anyone wondering about the Over-Stepping Boundaries sequel..._

_It was originally supposed to be up by the end up July, buuut. I may not get it done in time._

_I'll try to get it finished up as soon as I can, I just honestly have no idea where I was going with it besides the lemon part. xD._

_Have a good one!  
_


	2. Concoctions  MarluxiaVexen

_Since the first chapter was only the prologue and I had this one up and ready, it was only fair to upload this to give everyone a better idea to how this story will be run_.

_More of those annoying A/N's at the bottom :)_

**Disclaimer: Very much crack and very much OOC (sometimes). I also don't own Kingdom Hearts.**

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-_Marluxia is sent to Vexen as punishment for the Riku scandal where he is subjected to Vexen's twisted concoctions. Marluxia being, well, Marluxia, breaks a potion that lowers inhibitions and heightens a person's lust. Smut ensues :3 (This is a MarluxiaxVexen. Cause I just wanted it to be)-_

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

"Aw man...This is a lame punishment…" Marluxia slouched as he padded off to the lab, knocking on the door when he got there.

"Hey Vexy, you wanted to see me?" He asked glumly. Vexen was at one of his lab tables when Marly walked in. He vaguely checked out the scientist's ass through his robes before looking up to his head when he heard him speak.

"Marluxia. It's always a pleasure when you're sent to me as punishment for being an idiot. What did you do this time? And while you tell me, get to cleaning my floors, they're filthy and need a good mopping." Marluxia grumbled as he got the broom and mop, already learning the hard way that it's best to listen to him. He shuddered at the memory of walking around with only tentacles as limbs, and not the good, useful kind either.

"I'll show you who's filthy you dirty old..." he murmured to himself. Vexen glanced over towards Marluxia to make sure he was actually doing what he was told before going back to his work, oblivious to the comment.

"You never did tell me what got you in trouble in the first place. Ah, correction. WHO in particular did you anger?"

"Riku and Axel...It's not my fault. I was thirsty..." Marley muttered to himself. Vexen visibly twitched.

"Please further explain exactly what you did about your thirst to have risen up quite the scandal in the castle this morning." Marluxia stopped his mopping for a moment to think.

"Well, the other day I was working in my garden, and it got really hot, so I went to the fridge, but there wasn't anything there other than your test tube stuff...So I was walking down the hall and found Sora. All I did was take his Purity, he practically gave it to me with a dumb smile on his face. So I don't see why it was such a big deal...Well anyway, Riku found out, started to chase me, I ran behind Roxas, he got mad...Axel got all pissy and I really like my hair the length it is and didn't want it burned, so yeah. That's really all there was to it." He shrugged it off and began mopping again.

"That is quite understandable. Sora is the only one who drinks Purity, and because it's such an odd brand of water, no one else would have known about it, so it's easy to see how it could be taken rather inappropriately. And considering how possessive Riku and Axel are, it's obvious that they would attempt you bodily harm for even thinking that you were messing with their respective ukes. Though you could stand for a haircut. You have split ends." Vexen commented after he looked at Marly's hair. Marluxia gasped then glared at Vexen.

"MY HAIR IS BEAUTIFUL AND SMELLS LIKE SUNDAY ROSES!" He whacked the scientist in the head with the mop handle and huffed as he turned his head away.

"At least mine is not filled with chemicals from all those experiments you do. Hair needs to be loved! And nurtured!" Marluxia's eyes twinkled as he squeezed the mop handle lovingly in his hands with a certain twinkle in his eyes. Vexen stared at Marluxia like he was an idiot, or rather, just stared at the idiot.

"Mine is a natural color. Yours is a freak of nature." Vexen said stiffly. Marluxia stuck out his tongue childishly before continuing on his mopping. They both silently decided it was best to ignore each other.

The next two hours was a complete bore for dear old Marluxia as he had to not only mop Vexen's floors but dust the cabinets as well. He also had to drink this foul-tasting concoction that made his hands web for a short time until he was given the antidote, but only after reassuring Vexen that his skin really didn't look all that old. Though he'll admit he snickered when he looked away, which resulted in another foul tasting potion, except this one had a wonderful side effect of him emptying his bowels rather violently for the next thirty minutes.

Currently Vexen was hiding his maniacal smile as he heard the toilet flush for the third time in the last five minutes. He pretended to ignore Marluxia as he came out of the bathroom, grumbling to himself.

"Why does this stuff always happen to me...Vexen you are an unbeautiful person!" He yelled at the scientist who was smirking now.

"Perhaps you should learn to keep your mouth shut and things like this wouldn't happen to you, idiot." Vexen commented nonchalantly and went back to his work.

"You are so lame Vexen! Lets do something fun!" Marluxia whined and set his head on the metal lab counter to prevent Vexen from doing his work.

"Marluxia..." Vexen warned as he saw the sudden gleam in the man's eye. Before he could stop him, Marluxia was running off, singing a gay tune as he did. Vexen paled as he went straight for his fridge.

"Don't touch anything in there!" Vexen snapped but it was too late. Marluxia was looking at each vial for a moment, all in the different colors. He found a purple liquid and studied it. Vexen was stumbling over to stop him so Marluxia grinned and...Dropped it.

Purple smoke swirled around the two and Marluxia squealed in glee while Vexen groaned.

"You imbecile! Do you have any idea what that was?" He screeched. The smoke cleared and Marluxia looked at Vexen.

"Nope! What was it?" He piped. Vexen grabbed Marluxia by the collar of his Organization coat and threw him against the wall.

"It lowers one's inhibitions and elevates their lust." Vexen growled out. Already he felt the effects, him having made it that way in the first place. Marluxia's eyes got wider as he too felt his body get hot.

"Why would you make something like that?" Marluxia asked as he tried to get away but somehow he couldn't find the strength to do so.

"It's useful to have a bit of everything around." Vexen replied before smashing his mouth onto the slightly shorter man. It was a sloppy kiss, but both of them were moaning by the time they pulled apart.

Two pairs of hands tore at their clothes and threw them to the side as their mouths devoured each other's without a care in the world.

Originally, this would be disgusting and neither of them would think to commit such an act together, but for some reason they couldn't seem to keep their hands from sliding along smooth chests or mouths from biting dark hickies onto any expanse of skin it could reach.

Pants were soon discarded and Marluxia pushed himself off of the wall and switched their places, making Vexen groan as he was handled so roughly. Marluxia, after successfully getting the coat off and throwing the boxers off to the side with it, pulled Vexen up in order to wrap his now bare, long legs around his waist. He grabbed handfuls of that tight ass and smirked as Vexen wiggled in his grasp.

"I always said you were a tight ass, never thought it'd be literal." He growled out, his flamboyant demeanor suddenly falling away. He leaned over to the fridge and with one hand, scrimmaged through the shelves for something to use as lubricant.

"T-the…Pink vial." Vexen stuttered out and Marluxia found it easily enough. Grinning, he poured half of it onto his hand and immediately shoved two fingers deeply inside of the blonde, making him cry out.

"Bastard." Vexen murmured through clenched teeth and he tried to relax but the pink-haired man's probing fingers were twisting inside of him and rubbing against his delicate walls which made it only slightly difficult to.

Finally Vexen grew more accustomed to it and nodded, making Marluxia add a third finger in. This time it was much easier to grow accustomed to it because Marluxia finally found his prostate and Vexen couldn't help but thrust his hips down onto the now quite pleasurable fingers.

Sadly Marluxia figured he was stretched enough and he slipped out his now slick digits, making Vexen give a frustrated groan at the emptiness that personally had him smirking. Vexen watched as Marluxia opened his coat slightly and then started biting at the blonde's neck, distracting him. Quickly slicking up his erection, Marluxia held Vexen's hips and guided his cock to the stretched entrance. Without giving him any warning, so he would stay relaxed if only for a moment, Marluxia thrust in all the way to the hilt, letting his mouth fall away from the now darkened neck. Vexen screamed out his name, probably in anger, and clenched tightly around him.

Marluxia wrapped a hand around the blonde's erection and stroked him until he felt him loosening up a bit. Replacing his hands on Vexen's hips, Marluxia began to slowly start thrusting, bring the other's hips down to meet his each time.

Moans and gasps filled the room as their pace sped up. Their climaxes got closer and hands were frantically stroking along their bodies, slick with their sweat. Vexen raked his nails down Marluxia's back, causing the man to growl and start slamming roughly into him. Vexen let his head fall back against the wall and moaned aloud as he tried to hold back just a little bit longer.

Marluxia gripped Vexen's hips tight enough to bruise as he leaned forward to the blonde's ear.

"Come." He demanded, and Vexen complied. He screamed out the pink-haired man's name as he clenched around Marluxia tightly and spent himself between their stomachs. Marluxia followed soon after, the clenching being all the needed to fill up the blonde deeply with his essence. They remained there panting as they came down from their high. Slowly Marluxia unwrapped Vexen's legs from his waist and gently set him on the ground. The space between them seemed to clear their sex-crazed minds and realization came crashing down onto them.

"Oh my-"

"God" Marluxia stumbled backwards, staring wide-eyed at the almost stoic looking Vexen.

"Oh god. We did not just…What the hell just…" He couldn't form any actual sentences as his brain tried to catch up to his body and what just happened.

Vexen found his clothing and put it on, wincing only slightly as his backside stung whenever he moved in a particular way.

"I warned you…But as always, you do whatever you want." Vexen said. While his face remained serious, he was freaking out in his mind. How could he possibly have allowed this to happen? With him on _bottom _no less! Vexen sighed as he looked at the still partially naked Marluxia. He just now realized that Marluxia and simply pulled down his boxers rather than actually taking them off and simply opened the front of this coat. It gave him only a little more modesty, as he'd yet to pull them up over his…privates. Marluxia apparently got his glance to such areas, and quickly covered himself, and grabbed his pants and put them on. He readjusted his jacket and looked over at Vexen who was taking a pill of some kind. Upon walking over and glancing over the blonde's shoulder, he found it was painkillers. He snickered and received a nasty glare from Vexen.

"Marluxia, before I castrate you, I'd suggest you leave." Marluxia looked frightened for a moment, but then he smiled.

"Aww but Vexen! Don't tell me I wasn't completely and utterly fantabulous" He said slyly and suddenly found himself once again grabbed by the collar and thrown against the nearest wall.

"Never. Speak. Of this. AGAIN. Is that clear?" Vexen growled out, and Marluxia found himself nodding even as he gulped. Letting him go and walking over to the other side of the lab, Vexen returned to his work, or tried to look like it. Marluxia of course couldn't see the deep blush that defiled the normally pale skin.

Instead, Marluxia fixed his coat (for the second time that day) and headed for the door.

"Later old man." He called out, barely avoiding a glass container that was thrown at his departing back. He couldn't help but whistle a tune as he walked down the hall. But he paused as he saw Xigbar with his arms full of bottles. Approaching him, Marluxia realized it was all alcohol.

"Uh….Hiya Xigbar, planning a party?" He asked, and the pirate looked at him and grinned.

"Luxord and me are gonna get our drink on. We've already downed a bottle but we ran out…Luxord can't seem to keep his room very well stocked, he always ends up drinking it." Xigbar blinked a few times then looked over at Marluxia again.

"What are you doing? Ha, or rather, what _were _you doing. You look thoroughly fucked my man." Marluxia flushed at the comment but then "hmphed" and he crossed his arms defiantly.

"I'll have you know that I was top." Xigbar looked at him blankly.

"Dude seriously? Whoa that's a fucking surprise! Never thought you had it in ya buddy! Good job!" Xigbar patted him on the back and Marluxia had to resist the urge to rub his now sore shoulder.

"I gotta go drink now, so later!" With that Xigbar walked off and Marluxia finally gave in and rubbed his shoulder.

"Damn drunk pirates…" He muttered to himself as he walked in the opposite direction.

* * *

**_Ah the joys of some MarVex. It doesn't matter if it's "popular." That pairing is so crack._**

**_Anyway, so as some of you may have already guessed, the next chapter will involve Xigbar and Luxord. _**

**_I won't be saying who is on top yet but you may take your guesses._**

**_I'm doing the uploading usually whenever I get them done. But starting after this chapter they'll be at least a week (but most likely more than) between chapters._**

**_If you can think of any pairings you'd like to see, send me a holler!  
_**


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